Another well spent dollar #5

Eridani III…

An ancient garden of perfection, dwelling place of the Proteps. For years the Earth had coveted this lush Eden far beyond their reach in the stellar vastness. But now the Terran starcruisers could make the eleven-light-years' journey within a mortal lifetime… and now the superior Proteps coldly prepare to annihilate the Earth - before the invaders can approach the legendary planet…

It is up to one man - Earth's bionic-powered Jared Hiller - to stave off the horror of interplanetary war. Alone, he dares to storm the gates of paradise, to discover the ancient and terrible secrets of an immortal race… and to win a beautiful and intriguing woman whose love could change the destiny of two mighty worlds...

To Ma + Pa (Side A) Part 5

In this installment Steve drops some knowledge on his parents.

"I like verse 35. But what is wisdom? Well, according to the New American Webster Handy College Dictionary, printed in 1956, wisdom is..."

He also recites a bizarre incantation and then reassures his Mother that he hasn't been practicing any dark arts.

Another well spent dollar #4

They met in secret.

Five very special people whose parentage made outcasts of them all - even before they had been given any opportunity to prove or disprove their worth to society. Indeed, had they been discovered at birth, they would very likely have been killed.

So they started by owing humanity nothing.

Nothing except the bitter hatred and resentment of any outcast in any time.

But with a difference.

For these were starbred. These combined, if not the best, then certainly the strongest attributes of man and Centuarian. These five were infinitely superior to man - and they hated as superior beings might. Not with a desire to destroy, but with the need to control - absolutely.

And so they met in secret.

To Ma + Pa (Side A) Part 3

Part three of the audio tape I bought from a thrift store in Anderson, CA.

In this installment Steve takes his parents on a ridiculously thorough tour of his one bedroom apartment. He describes nearly everything in great detail, spending two whole minutes describing one BYU poster on his bedroom wall.

"It's just a crazy poster. Hmmm..."

To Ma + Pa (Side A) Part 2

Part two of the audio tape I bought from a thrift store in Anderson, CA. In this part Steve excitedly tells his parents about the prospects he's been speaking with.

"They're so golden man. They're in their baptismal suits, they just don't know it yet."

He also introduces the wisecracking Bishop Bingham, mocks his Dad's baldness and his Mom's cooking, and reads them the Top Ten Reasons Why a Franklin Planner is Better Than a Girlfriend. Absolutely riveting.

In the next installment Steve takes his parents on a thorough audio tour of his 1 bedroom apartment, where he spends over 2 minutes describing a poster on his wall. Seriously.

Another well spent dollar #2

Centuries after the holocaust that destroyed Earth, Galad Sarian is exiled from his home planet of Zurjah to Karkesh, the desecrated city of chains on the planet Ur. There, the former heir to the Dream Lords throne is to be eternally imprisoned with the vilest anthropomorphic species of monsters in all the nine worlds…

Creatures so hideous that the mind cannot imagine the mutations and permutations from which they sprang…

Creatures so fearfully atrocious that Galad Sarian cannot know if they truly exist, or if they are nightmarish hallucinations created for his torture by the awesome magic of THE DREAM LORDS.

To Ma + Pa (Side A) Part 1

I found this tape at a thrift store in Anderson, CA. The only hints as to it's content were "To Ma + Pa" on Side A and "To Steve" on Side B. It turned out to be an audio letter from a Mormon missionary to his parents. This is part 1 of Side A, where Mormon missionary Steve tells his parents about his breakfast, the state of Florida, his desire for new pants, and his Senior Elder, Jared Eugene Lee.

In the next installment Steve practically salivates while telling his parents about some of his new prospects in Florida.

Another well spent dollar #1

Nobody has a name like Jesus O'Flynn. And it's true Jesus is not his name.

But Mr. Charisman called him Jesus because that is what O'Flynn had said the first time he glimpsed the dimensions of the creature who called himself, idiotically, Mr. Charisman. Mr. Charisman was a gigantic excrescence with many moving mouths that argued with one another, that snapped and drooled over O'Flynn in a manner altogether disgusting.

But if Mr. Charisman was a nightmare, what he wanted O'Flynn to do was utter madness.

On the other hand, even utter madness can look sane when one has a time bomb planted in one's body...