Tuesday, March 29, 2011

To Ma + Pa (Side A) Part 4

In this installment Steve concludes the insanely long audio tour of his apartment, does a horrendous AC/DC impression, bores everyone by talking about soccer, and brags about his penny collection.

Absolutely riveting.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Murder Weapon

Murder Weapon is an interesting movie. Interesting. The opening scene (which is 10 minutes long) consists mainly of footage of a bikini-clad woman lotioning her arms and legs, and Linnea Quigley in pigtails, walking home from school and drinking a glass of milk. It's not really as amazing as it might sound. The editor cuts back and forth between these two scenes so frequently that the movie almost hypnotizes you into thinking it all means something. Rest assured, it doesn't. But the bizarre pace and editing of Murder Weapon is what makes it worth watching (once); at times it almost feels more like an avant-garde student film than a late 80's slasher by the director of Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama. Which isn't to say that it's good, it's definitely not, but it has more going for it than the average bad slasher movie.

Over at VHS WASTELAND you can read my full review for Murder Weapon.


Thursday, March 10, 2011

Another well spent dollar #3

Sean Cloud dialed a headache pill. The pill tube flashed, "SORRY, OUT OF ORDER."

Sean had never been on Earth, for which he felt both a vague loyalty and a colonist's contempt. After all, Earth had made quite a mess of it in the late 1990s. But here he was, on the one in-shuttle Mars owned, going on behalf of the Martian colonies to request arms to defend the planet against the alien fleet sighted off Saturn.

But supposing the cheerful newstapes Earth sent the colonies were retouched? Suppose Westbloc hadn't any weapons, or needed them for its arms race with Eastbloc? Sean rubbed his aching head. No doubt about it, there'd be further headaches awaiting him in THE ASYLUM WORLD.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

To Ma + Pa (Side A) Part 3

Part three of the audio tape I bought from a thrift store in Anderson, CA.

In this installment Steve takes his parents on a ridiculously thorough tour of his one bedroom apartment. He describes nearly everything in great detail, spending two whole minutes describing one BYU poster on his bedroom wall.

"It's just a crazy poster. Hmmm..."

Exterminator 2

There's something I need to get off my chest right now, technically I'm only the co-owner of Exterminator 2. My friend David and I both dug $1.50 out of our pockets to cover the $3.00 price tag on this tape back in the 8th grade, and we purchased it together from a nice old lady at the flea market. I think we were both mesmerized by the box, both how big it was and what was on it. So David took it home that Saturday to watch it and report back to me at school on Monday. I sat around all weekend watching lesser films, only imagining the greatness contained on that tape. When David brought it to school on Monday he reluctantly handed it over to me, telling me how amazing it was. After school I went home and popped it into my VCR as soon as I could, and I understood what he was talking about. In fact I was so enraptured that I never gave the tape back to David. I kept it all to myself. I'm sorry David, I wronged you. But to get to the point...

Over at VHS WASTELAND you can read my review of the vigilante classic Exterminator 2.